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Sunday, September 25, 2005

Be careful what you wish for... (2)

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As I went closer to see who's in that bed made of silk and gold. I saw long thik black hair, and heard a cuddle noise she made just before she turned to where I stood. It was Noura, she was asleep, with a smile drawn on her adorable face that looked to my direction. I pulled a chair carefully and sat just happy to gaze into her lovely face. As she moved again to wake up, I got scared from that unexpected movement of her feet to reach that marble floor underneath. I panicked and rushed towards her dresser wanting to avoid her shocked scream, and hoped she wouldn't notice me until I could explain to her. But what sane reason can I explain to her, I haven't the faintest idea how I got to her room!

God! she's looking at my direction as if it were okay for me to just be standing there, she's walking towards me, I'm more then frightened and scared, what am I supposed to do or say to her, shivering from the inside and smiling on the outside I was. Moved out of her way and smiled as I said hi. She took a brush from behind me, and brushed her hair, she just ignored me. But why just calm as if I never existed? I know I gave her bad memories, but I'm a new person now, and I'm able to love her once again as she wanted me to. Anything to win back her love... I wish.... a small laugh in my ear and said, "too late now you've made your wish, now enjoy while you can, haven't you wished for this so long now, well there she is!" Yes! I did think of that,... My god! It came true!! But again the granny told me it would end as I went to sleep. I swore to God above that I will never lose her again.

Washing up her face, Noura started to fit in the day now. But how can I talk with her and tell her to look at me and accept me back into her life, I didn’t even know if she moved on already or not. I had no idea what had happend all this time, its been two years now. I stood by her as she chose clothes to wear and told her, "I know must hate me by now, but I promise you that never again will I treat you less then a goddess, I'll defecate you from now on forth."

She looked at the direction I stood in and murmured a word I couldn't understand. I thought to my self maybe it still isn't the right time to start talking. I picked out a shirt for her to wear instead of my useless talk; she just stretched her hand to pick another on an upper shelf and threw them on her bed as she started taking off her tops. "Oh god! ... Noura!" I turned around and told her I'll wait outside. Again! granny with a smirck on her face chuckled into my ear, "she can't see you nor hear you silly!" completely surprised I asked her, "but what use is it to be with her and not being able to express my self?" she never answered me.

I waited for Noura to be done, and then went to out to the living room, she was magnificent, the way she walked, how she sat on that sofa watching TV with a bowl of watering pineapple bits she gentley held with two fingurs and chewed on as breakfast . I just sat next to her examining her every movement, just amazed how beautifull and complete god created her. The sun’s rays just shined where she sat, shimmering from a back window that glowed on to her silky hair and just bounced off with magical brownish shades of color.

Her baby brother had just woke up and came to the living room with his cute little batman P.jays, his hair was adorably messed up, just went and sat next to Noura. He laid his head on her laps, and she made those baby good morning noises that totally made me insanely wanting to hug such a sensation. I continually kept admiring her sister-to-brother relationship; it was like she came out of a fairytale into real life. I wanted so much to touch her hands and just feel their warmth. But she never felt me, and my hands just couldn't feel the touch of hers, disappointed but still excited to be sitting on the chair just next to her and being able to see her.

So soon! Lunchtime was here, and her father just came home back from office. Noura amazingly came up to her father and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, when her little brother just went running like crazy to hug his father. They all gathered up at the lunch table, despite the fact that I could not be seen, I feared to sit with the father on the same table. I just went around them and admiralty watching the way she took care feeding her brother and passing around those dishes to her fathers dining, I gathered up all what strength left in me to sit on that same table the family gathered on, after a million thoughts and considers of invading this beautiful chemistry her family shares one another, I finally decided to not disrupt this bond, and just settle by watching Noura's smile from a couch far in the living room but facing her. I watched how she took care of everything; the way she salted her food and how her hair fell from the sides as she leaned towards her plate, those angelic figures of hers were just magically divine, mingling with her hair when brushed away from her godlike face. That smile she gave back her baby brother whenever he looked at her was simply breathtaking. I desperatly wanted so much to be a brother or a relative of the family, I’d settle down for anything, just to know we’re a part of the family she's in.

After that lunch, they gathered around the TV just flicking on channels, I sat with them next to the baby brother on a couch watching him play with some toys he brought from upstairs, just admiring the love his sister carefully embraced him with. It made me feel a tear in my eye and this great need to hold him so close to my heart with arms I feared they might crush his little bones. looking at Noura every now and then, she sat there on a chair next to her father seat just like a lady should, with one leg neatly over the other, and that cup of tea in her hand resting on her laps, chatting with her father, I couldn't understand what they talked about, I was captured by the scene I see Noura in, she was just perfectly dealing with every member of her family.

Soon it was time for her fathers afternoon's siesta, her little brother was still filled with life and excitement since morning, enthusiasm that wanted Noura to stay and play with him, she took his little hand and went upstairs to the play room, then dug out a puzzle for him to play, she promised him that when he's done that she'll get him some ice cream, and made a funny face with a yummy sound-like that made me want to laugh as hard as I could, so I did, knowing that no one would hear me anyway.

After that I went back with Noura to her room, she went through the book shelves then selected one that had a page-keeper inside, and laid down on that deep purple colored French chaise lounges, or faint sofa if you will. keyed up, she started reading from that book resting on hear chest between her hands. Her divine figures were brilliantly carved by the hands of god, wrapped around that fortunate book, beautiful how soft and long figures she had, her nails were without a polisher just so pure in shape and color, coated her figures a soft milky skin, the kind you’d want to rub with your face. I just sat on her bed with my hands around my cheeks and a sigh just gazing at her as she flipped another page of that book, like in a library, the room was with me and her, silent enough you can almost hear her every breath she takes in. I watched her not long enough to satisfy the thirst my soul desired. I fell in love all over again with her and realized that there isn’t anything better I could've wished for; she was all I ever wanted.

Hours seemed like merely a moment had passed by, her brother came barging into her room, declaring victory upon that puzzle. He came and jumped on her stomach then laid right next to her, wrapping his baby arms around Noura’s body, and eye-kissing her cheeks, eye- kissing is opening ones eye and closing it repeatedly as if placing your lips to ones cheeks. The site of her brother fighting to give his sister an eye-kiss, and her combined laughter with a screaming voice, her pleads to let her continue the reading she started, was simply lovable. She eventually had to beg just to read one more page. To see them squabble together with laughs and joy of being together, and just forget what hardships life brings to one, even if it were for just few seconds, it made me happy to know such a powerful woman able to provide the love her family needs.

She finally fell a victim of that promise she made her little brother. She carried him with a hug and a gentle nose rub as she stood up the sofa, then rained him with kisses all over his little baby face and took him downstairs. They went through the fridge to find what flavors of iced cream they had, three, "vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry! What will it be kiddo?" He wanted all mixed together; she opened her eyes, and excitedly said "right-on chubbiez!" She served him what he wanted and licked off what was left of the scooping spoon. They both went out side to the swimming pool as they dipped their toes and made jokes and fun out of nothing in particular. Playing with her feet in the pool's cold water, and hugging her brother as he spoke with his mouth full. I envied the little guy for having such an angle of a sister love him so much.


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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Be careful what you wish for... (1)

LeoMaStiC Fairy
When everything is calm and still, and when darkness reaches to you from that far end of the room, it touches your body, and that once of a body that's yours stays still…, when exhaustion has its best of you, you know its time for her to come as well.

I await her arrival anxiously every night before my thoughts ship to dreams. she comes to me, She whispers gently into my ear and asks me for a wish to make, a fantasy to truth.

"Only this time," she told me, "I will grant your wish, so be careful what you wish for, my child." Tonight is yours to command as you desire. So be careful what you wish for.

As I could almost see her wrinkled lips speak those words I just heard, I try and make out her face in the darkness, she asks,"Is this truly what your eyes want to see?" I backed out and thought again before I made my one wish. Now my thoughts bring me to a more materialistic state, and thought of money, power, cars, houses and everything else one could desire in this world of ours. Again she cautioned me and reminded to think carefully before I spoke something I really didn’t want, and lose that dream I've always wanted to become real, but what was it that I've always wanted?! I can't remember...

why this time against all the others she finally grants me this one wish. Why now? She had a list filled with wishes I've made every night and none got the sight of truth. Every night she answered my calling, but never gave me what I truly wanted. And finally now, when she answeres my yearning, I haven’t the faintest idea what it was that I wanted most. I asked for time to grant me before I had decided my ultimate desire. She told me "the night is still young, but it wont last you for ever!" then gave out a devilish echoing laugh and vanished back into the darkness!

My sight points at a drawer before me, like it was staring at me. I wonder what's kept in there. It's been ages since I've wondered through those things I've collected during my life. I walked with a panicky heart, as if I already knew what's kept in there. I went back and forth through memories, in life times, I just couldn't remember what I had kept in there! I slowly walked to that drawer still striving to remember..
I went closer till I reached to open it; I found a paper in that box. Just one sheet of paper, I read what it said and every feeling it once gave me just came back like a tide wave. Oceans of memories just took me back through time again. She suddenly shows up and asks me, if I were ready. I knew then what it was that I wanted most from this life we live. It was her; I wanted so much to be with her at this very moment...

* * *

It was dark and voiceless, nothing seemed to neither move nor be alive in this place. Why am I not scared?! My eyes were too heavy to open, where am I? I just couldn't tell where i was.
it was a room with high ceilings, pink walls and a dark blue with pink-like colors, a dresser next to that deep purpled door, a blue bed made of silk, and a painted walls' creation of an artistic stroke of paint on that far side of the girls room. Her cobbered was made of light pinkish oak wood, and the floor had pinkish marble blended with dark blue natural marble stripes that matched those blue decorated with gold curtains reaching the floor of her room. It's all true! I'm in a girl's room, but was it really hers?

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Thursday, September 08, 2005

Tagg!! .... i'm it

She6anah, i'll follow yours, here goes:

10 yrs ago:
it was 1995 and i was somewhere in middle school. i had a teacher that i hated more then the devil himself. On one nasty PTA he told my father that i was playing around while the class is going, i got scolded when i got back home, and when i confronted the bastard he said it was for you own good. but all i did was sit in that far corner of the class and listen to the walkman all thru the day. is it a crime?!

5 yrs ago:
i graduated high school and went to the AUS and studied for one semester, i swore to god i'd never come back to saudi, well eventually mum's pink mushy love got to me, so i came back, and now i'm a upm'r.

1 yr ago: (last year)
i have no idea what so ever, but i do remember this, i took summer courses to escape my family's never ending trips during summer. you can imagine how boring that gets!

i'll have my last party before i head back to saudi, yeah i'm ditching the 1st day.. Awesome!
i never ditched a day back at school, its its goanna ROCK!! not

snacks "hungry already":

  • club sandwiches,
  • snickers with coke (not diet) P~
  • mead cold cuts ( i live alone at the univ)
  • Subway's amazing cold cuts.
  • waffles

Bands i know lyrics to:

i dont listen to bands, but even if i do listen i never was good with lyrics.
But check this out http://www.kicken.com/flash/bsbgay.swf

with a billion dollars i'd:

  • give each of my parents ten million to go crazy with.
  • build a house with five underground level car pools and fill them all up.
  • u know those hot dog rollers, yeah well i'll do them for cars, so i'd shift those cars to the ground level.
  • write a will that all liquid capital goes to the poor and unfortunate, and my children will have everything else but money to scatter around. oh and for starters i'd start a savers account that adds 2 thousand each month and untouchable until each is 26.
  • one big ass spa next to the indoor pool

five places i'd run away to:
mmMm.. have i killed anyone?!!! i wouldnt run away, but i'dd like to stay somewhere alone for some time every couple of months.

Bad habits:

  • you might think i talk allot, but i actually dont in real life
  • not sociable
  • love my solitude
  • screw up allot
  • plan and never actually commit to them.


things i like:

  • racing
  • winning
  • having a dark side no one knows bout me
  • make a good first impression
  • travel driving

TV shows:

  • The OC, until i found out its a Jew guy acting to be perfect
  • full house, ( i used to tape them when i was a kid, ramdan)
  • the contender
  • 60 minutes

will never wear:

  • a crazy hair cut
  • women cloths
  • sandals (foot shy P~)
  • crazy colored shirts

movies i like:

  • gone in sixty seconds
  • brave heart
  • the ring 1
  • city of angels
  • face off

people i'd like to meet:

  • Noura, a girl i lost
  • my grandfather , mum's side
  • friends, that i need to apologize to
  • Tupac, rap artist
  • ......

joyful moments:

  • rowing a boat with my uncle in london (96 first time i ever rowed)
  • dolphins on a sea cruse in miami (89)
  • a beating we gave some street punks when saudi go to the world cup in 98 ( What? they were rebelling someone had to do it)
  • when my friends mum caught us smoking bubbly
  • visiting Iraq back in 97
  • visiting mum's friend in the UAE (back in 96 mid break)
  • the times dad took me to Toyland

Fav. toys: !!!!!!

  • my dad got me a game boy when i was 14 i never let my brothers play until it was a month old
  • a huge crane remote with construction site my dad got me from the states
  • lego (outer space)
  • remote petrol car

Thank God i'm done!!!
The Tag dies with me! Unless a volunteer comes along!