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Thursday, December 18, 2008

I hope this letter finds you well. Long have I wanted to hear your voice again; but I couldn’t bring myself to break anymore promises. It always comes and leaves in a blood rush. This need, this desperate need to hear your voice again is sometimes more than what I can handle. I almost dial the last number you called from, but then a sudden agitating feeling overwhelms me. Yes, I never deleted that log off my phone. I safe guard it every few days in case I needed to count the days that have passed.

I don’t really know what would I tell you if I ever did call that number. All I know is that I need to hear your voice again. It might give me a boost to live a few more months with a smile plastered to my face.

Its been almost two years now since we last spoke, I remember my first six months very well. Actually most people around me remember how I used to be back then. Little by little, it all started to fade away. Till I've become this hallow shell of a person without stamina.

Would your soporific voice help me find a rationale for life again? Or was my boost stemming from the closure I finally found in our goodbyes? I don’t know – I really don’t.

I wrought this scenario in my head a thousand times; I typed endless messages to no avail. It's time for marriage in Leo's-vill. And I wanted you; quite honestly, all I could see in my mind's eye was you for so long, that I forgot how it felt to actually be with someone real anymore.

One thing is certain though, time will keep moving on, and if I cant match its speed, I'll never reach home.

I can't decide anymore, my falling off the planet did not aid my serenity like I had anticipated. The end is near my friend. I can smell the essence of my downfall right around the corner.