end java here-->

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Thank you, But i am.

Tho this I'm about to say may seem absurd, but ultimately you knew me too well. I think in the end, like always, you were right. I found someone that swooped me off my feet. Someone real, someone I could feel indemnity with all my emotions and thoughts. I only thought that could happen with only you.

We've only just began and this road we're walking through is harder than the road we took once upon a time. She is quite different than you were. Actually she's even different than anyone I could’ve imagined myself ending up with. She's wild, fun, hyper and filled with love to give; she's also pretty honest with her thoughts and too logical for me to understand sometimes. I guess opposites do attract after all.

For so long you've been running through my mind, I know we've had our closure noura. But still, I kept on telling you about my daily life in one way or another, you were my safe zone. I probably never mentioned this to you, but she's been on my mind for months now. I actually once dreamt that you and I conversed about her and you just gave me the feeling to go for it, and I did.

Well it just began to happen a few days back. We started 2009 together in some way. I myself were in agony; that I was in a different part of the world at the time and not just that. I think I went beyond my own illusive imagination that day. I actually trekked years in olden times and saw all what I've missed form her life and got to know who she used to be. It actually hurt me in many excruciating ways to a point I just couldn’t breathe no more, I swear! And though this might seem bizarre to the common brain; but I felt it was more like a cleansing journey into her soul. And I actually felt what people sing about, they call it sweet misery! Or something to that effect!

The first day of the year I spent it with a very good friend of mine. Though we haven’t met in years probably but still we sat and spoke endlessly about her. Oh, her name is maha by the way. My friend and I went all around the exclusive places we didn’t have in saudi, and supported me on many levels on loving this maha of mine. I hope you don’t feel offended, but yes, I believe we've reached a point somewhere where we own one another; but in a non-controlling good way that is.

So here I am back to Saudi, and she proved that she is willing to endure me like I secretly promised her the same. I believe this will end well. You remember how I jump around my mother sometimes waiting for her blessings in almost everything I do. Well, from the thronging vibes I've been throwing her way, I think we stand a chance. A really good chance of making this happen. – Fingers crossed!

Note to self: the 28th is where it all began.