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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

i remember... you

Sometimes at night it comes slow under the shadows of memories. It finds its way back to my heart. It starts with a smile and slowly its shine starts to fade away. I remember you. If only you do too. Such a sad and hallow word that is …"if only"

Happy thoughts are all what keep my alive, doesn’t seem much at times noura.. it really doesn’t fuel my soul enough to carry on without you.

I remembered you tonight, everything went silent for a moment as I listened to forever young. I saw your smile on my screen tonight. I missed you so much.
… actually.. I still do.

I miss being so random around you, it never feels like home when ur not around. Ive learned to love you for so long. And now it all seems too hard to let go. You taught me that love, it grew in me for so long. how can I ever move along these hallow sidewalks of life. and being happy? when your not around to mock my silly thoughts and ideas. It hurts so much inside… we both know how bad it does. -dont you?

If I could make a wish now.. I couldn’t wish for anything. Its all faded away when youre gone.
I'm sorry noura, I'm so sorry for everything ive done. The things I said, and the promises I could never go through with. It is true, you never know true value of people until they’ve gone.. "if only" such a cold word don’t you think?

Noura, you set the bar too high for anyone to come across. I cant but compare them with you. No one seems to have a spec of you. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I'll ever grow to love again, they way I did with you? Its too freighting to walk all alone in a cold empty place I call home. We had it all planed out. We even had names to call them, their majors were already picked out even in their imaginary fights we picked our roles to play. How much longer… its dark not knowing.

I miss you, I miss me being with you. I had the whole world heal before me, I was king of my own world. I was… I just was.

If only you knew how much I care. If only, those cold empty echoing screams of "if only" god you have no idea what it feels like when youre not around