Okay so now this is just a quick fart of my brain… FART.. Ahhh.. Sometimes I believe inno good things and bad things sometimes come in a swallow. Ya3nee,,, as everything is running fine and smooth in your life you then find a series of stuff that just give you the crabs.. Well what I’m trying to get at, is inno for over a month now and everything seems to be clashing down around me. The thing with Sara, then her grandfather passed away after that i was misunderstood by someone, then I found out that I trusted wrong people in life, and after that I got backstabbed. The problem of misunderstanding was that somehow we lost a connection on a sane level, and now as I look into the bigger picture its like I was being used. I mean I would’ve helped, but don’t treat me like a complete idiot, u knw? The other backstabber, or unworthy of trust had a secret of mine that promised to hold on to so tight, but later on in life, I started to remember why I always kept friends away from intimate stuff in me. Well all that and more gave me the feel that I’m lost, distracted, deep distortion in my mind. This made me see all the bad things in people, even those whom don’t really hurt, like double Ss, I shouted and kicked so bad, not because she bugged me as much as I was trying to prove to myself I’m still on track and I do make a difference. So yeah my brain is officially fired.
For a week now and I cant sleep at night, I don’t know whats on my mind, I just cant focus on anything no more, if simple as sleeping I cant do, I think you can imagine how my day goes like. I hate this feeling of being stupid distracted with no good comebacks to friends or professors. Yeah and adding to all of that, I think this is the exact time where it hit me the most. McKenzie was having a seminar on campus and the collage sent messages to everyone to attend on Thursday a five hour seminar. So during the presentation and just before the workshop ended they asked us all to leave except for the selected 14. so now two things bug me here, one is that why didn’t I know about it, and why is our university so messed up to send everyone an open invite when it was for specific people. So from that day forth and I haven’t been myself. Something’s gone wrong with me.. its like I feel all the hate around me. And its like I’m caving into this shell of FUCK OFF I HATE YOU kinda personality..
I guess when one brick falls off the wall it makes me want to bring the whole wall down and make a better and stronger one, but eventually I just leave it broken in the end. You know that feel when you know its alright to cry? You start to remember some old shit that hurt you, well I guess I’m in that sort of phase I guess.Well I guess its just the wrong things at the wrong times, or it could be global warming.,. I mean hey everyone blames it ..so why cant i? thank you, now you can go!