Standing out

Unique, being different or special is not always a good thing. I know I don’t fit in any society easily, I know that I tend to be lost most of the time in my head. I don’t know what's right or wrong anymore, its like everything around me is crashing down, it’s crumbling like a mad set of rocks shooting from the sky.

Been said what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. And I’m not hanging my dirty laundry just yet, but here’s a taste of life in me. I love my family, and I adore my friends, I don’t know how to be friendly with any of them, though I lounge for friendliness I can’t be a good friend myself, we always end up in a fight, or at least that’s how it feels to me. The thing is, when I hear a bad thing about someone, it somehow grows into me until I myself start to believe it’s true. No matter how small or stupid it may be, it grows. Well not just that, I start blaming myself for what an idiot I’ve been believe they were good, and i lose the belief of an existing second chance. Oh and here is something that really busts my day. Those whom I love and trust the most, basically my family, when they start the family war I tend to get lost in all the commotion and not know whom should I trust nor like anymore. I know I should love them all equally but I do not agree with most of the things they say or tend to believe about one another. Even if everyone was polite, and smiles were shining everywhere, my brain actually sees a food fight going in the room. I’m sick of living with two personalities in me, I just dont know what’s real anymore. I know it sounds screwed up but The truth is, I love my family, and its not them that need mental help, its me, but it sometimes hurts to love someone that your brains or personalities just don’t seem to click.

Don’t pity me; your family is allot more screwed up than mine!