beating the norms

Normal? How would you know if you were normal or not? Maybe your height, weight, eye color or hair would be good standards to evaluate yourself. But what about those that are happening in your mind from thoughts to mind conversations down to conclusions. how can you evaluate those against the norms?
Some people don't like exposing their mental activity; I guess they fear the criticism. so how can those evaluate? Reading books articles magazines or watching TV might be an indicator to some extent. but then, what if you are faced with something you're not quite sure of? i guess you could bring it out casually in a conversation and see how people would react. or maybe stick it on someone's back and carefully await his reaction.
I guess that's fine to some extent, but what about the weird desires, or some like to call them specials. what about them? if you were a shy person how would you evaluate what's crossing the redlines of sanity? it is tricky, those methods above won't be of much use.
Lets have this example to discuss. you are a shy person, say extra shy. You have some weird captivated desire. you never thought it was weird. Then somehow you spoke of it casually forgetting for a second that you might be criticized. And then someone laughed their asses over that weird thing you felt like doing. So now what? Will you lock your self in a room and redo your evaluation to all norms? Alright you did that, and the bar is set too high. all of a sudden everything seems abnormal to you, you wouldn't feel comfortable speaking anything out. - Correct? if so, then what would be a causal conversation from there off? Almost nothing. Everything would seem boring to you. Cause the bar of norms excluded everything interesting you could speak of.
How about a different example. you have weird thought and you admit they are weird, but you laugh them off and don't really give a jack to any criticism. Wont you start to get people opening up to you, and when you do, you would learn allot more of what is normal and what is not. but hold on a second here. if you find yourself in this example. Wouldn't it be too hard to hold back, even if you wanted to change so badly?
Some people could be those two extremes at the same time. Do you think they have some split persona? I don't at least. i keep shifting from one extreme down to another. Sometimes i pass through several personas in a day. Allot of people call that immature, and i agree. its so difficult to change who you are. Even in psychiatric sessions it's really hard to choose one personality. but one thing i give you for granted. Focus on one as your base personality; let's call it your safety net. and all the other persona's you can live them to a lower dosage then u used to. A life coach could come in handy more than a psychiatric.
Life coach is one that has a positive impact on you, often has an optimistic persona.